Kim LaCapria (00:01)
Hey everybody, me and Carolyn Clapper — is a medium and I was a professional skeptic and fact checker; my name is Kim LaCapria, and today we're going to do a thing we've been trying to do for a long time.
"Everything you want to know about the afterlife," and we're probably not going to touch on every single thing. We realized recently we're probably gonna have to put this into like a two-parter. So if anything gets missed, please leave it in the comments. Let us know and we may skip some questions.
Carolyn Clapper (00:02)
Hey.
Kim LaCapria (00:30)
And if it's a question that you want answered, let us know because we want to know what you want to know too. So we pulled together a whole bunch of questions. Sorry, know what doing, Carolyn, do you want to say hi?
Carolyn Clapper (00:37)
Thanks guys. No, no, no,
I appreciate them sending in questions too. So I'm hearing some of these for the first time also. So I'll just answer as honestly and as best as I can.
Kim LaCapria (00:46)
And then also … Yeah, because a lot of these are very broad questions, but another thing that I wanted to say as a disclaimer at the beginning is, in case you haven't seen any of our earlier episodes where we talk about our relationship and how we know each other and all these things, I'm widowed, but I have a continuing relationship with my husband, which is very uncommon. So that will be a context that you hear a lot with me and Carolyn, but most widows repartner, and that's very normal and very, we'll go into that during this episode, but.
I am an outlier and I don't want anybody to think that I'm saying that everybody should do what I do because it's very, very not easy. So I just wanted to say that because I think it's very easy for other widows to think that, you I think that everybody should do this and I don't. It's a very small fraction of widows, sorry.
Carolyn Clapper (01:35)
No, it's fine. And I think it's important to say that because we're not trying to say that my answers are the answers for everybody or yours, right? And everyone makes decisions for themselves. And it's like you've chosen to not, you know, repartner, but
Kim LaCapria (01:45)
Yeah, we're — I chose that when I was still a materialist. I don't know if I ever like... So I knew that kind of right away. Yeah, because I didn't... When I say when I was a materialist, what I mean was until I spoke to Carolyn for the first time, I didn't believe that consciousness survived death. I didn't believe in an afterlife. I didn't believe in heaven. I didn't believe in angels or unicorns or any of those things. And I still say, I don't believe... Well, no, but I don't believe in an afterlife. I know consciousness survives death based on the evidence that...
Carolyn Clapper (01:55)
Yeah, that's important to mention, I think. Yeah, I think that's really important to mention.
HOW DARE YOU!
Kim LaCapria (02:22)
Carolyn has provided other evidence too, but most of it has come from Carolyn. So that's kind of where I am, because I don't think belief matters. I mean, when I didn't believe in an afterlife, it still existed.
My belief has no bearing on it. So I think it's important to say. So that's, and I still consider myself an atheist. I don't think those things are mutually exclusive. So do you want to go to the questions? No, I know I was, I'm always trying to refuse. But I always tell Carolyn, I think she's an atheist too. Because me and Carolyn kind of have similar beliefs. Okay, so we will dive into the questions.
Carolyn Clapper (02:40)
I agree with that. Yeah, let's just dive right into it. Let's dive girl.
And I'm also a skeptic. So I don't even care that everybody's skeptical of me because it's something that I completely knew was going to happen when I came into mediumship after my NDE. I was like, here we go. Because I'm a skeptic and I didn't believe in mediums before, yeah, before my NDE.
Kim LaCapria (02:52)
She is a skeptic. Yeah, and one of the reasons...
Yeah, she didn't. Like she's told me that for years. But also one of the reasons we wanted to do this is because for years I've been saying like, Carolyn gets interesting information, but it's always in a one-to-one setting or almost always. It's usually with a client. So that client knows and Carolyn knows if she remembers, but she can't remember all her readings, obviously. So it just kind of that information never gets out. So people get personalized information and some generalized information, but there's not really a good resource for the questions that keep people up at night.
And that's why we wanted to do this video too, because I remember when I was early into this, like the first few months, and after I had interacted with Carolyn, I had so many questions and I was up all night watching videos and a lot of people are doing that.
So we want to answer the questions that you guys are trying to get answered at two o'clock in the morning. And again, let us know if you have more because one of the things we want to do with this podcast is like make it easier for people to exist when they're actively grieving because we both know it is really, really hard to exist in the world when that happens.
Carolyn Clapper (04:03)
Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (04:06)
we can like start with because the first question we have is like a really big one. So we were talking about just kind of being a big hard to answer question. So that was the
Carolyn Clapper (04:06)
Yeah.
And it's interesting because Kim asked me questions once in a while, if we're just conversating outside of this. And sometimes I'm like, wait, isn't this obvious? Doesn't everybody know this? And I talk to other people that I'm really close with, and things will come up and they'll ask me something or I'll say something expecting that everyone knows what I'm talking about.
Kim LaCapria (04:25)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (04:39)
They are like you and Bob and you know, like kind of people who talk to me all the time are like, no, like not everybody knows this. And I think I take for granted. Yeah, yeah.
Kim LaCapria (04:47)
— goes in reverse. Because also I'll say things to Carolyn that are things everybody believes are true about the afterlife. you look at this information and she's like, I've never, no, I don't think that's a thing. And it's so strange because every other medium will be saying it. And she's not only never encountered it, but never heard of it. So there are a lot of ideas out there that I think just also take on a life of their own. And there's one of those in there that we're going to get to.
Carolyn Clapper (04:54)
Right.
Yeah, and I want to mention like, and this is not bragging at all, because I don't think that being ignorant is ever really a good thing. But because I'm writing a book right now, I have like remained ignorant, like choicefully ignorant of the field that I'm in. So even though I'm in it, I'm kind of like a lone wolf on the outskirts because like, because I don't want to adopt other people's language in the field. And I also don't want to like regurgitate like what they're saying.
And I'm not saying that this is everybody in the field or anything like that. I'm just saying that there's a lot of things that like, you know, maybe if you're studying mediumship, or spirituality or something, you'll just hear things over and over and over, read them over and over and over. And then you just think, okay, well, that is that. And then they adopt those things into like, their own dialogue. And they
Kim LaCapria (06:06)
You're so right though, this is a huge thing like in the communities where this is it's it really does. You're you're right. Like it's a huge thing.
Carolyn Clapper (06:09)
Yeah.
And I think some of that is probably true. Like I would probably align with some of what people are saying, because like maybe they're just fundamental truths that we all tap into, meaning like everybody that's capable of tapping into the next world or whatever, or into that space. I think like there may be some consistencies between what I'm about to say and what they say.
But what I will say is that when I hear something that doesn't align with anything I've been shown or have experienced over the past, god, it's been 15 years, Kim, since 2011, girl. Okay, so 15 years, then I'm gonna say it. And it doesn't mean that I'm right. I'm not saying that I'm all-knowing by any stretch of the imagination.
I'm just saying like, I'm not gonna pacify people and I'm not gonna tell people what they want to hear. I'm just gonna tell people the way that I see things and what I know to be like my truth. So hopefully it'll help some people. I don't know.
Kim LaCapria (07:10)
Yeah, and when people are grieving, it does, it really does help because a lot of the stuff that's just kind of like, yeah, everything is great and wonderful and that's all you need to know, that makes people feel worse because A, they feel like it's a lie and B, they feel like the person lost their personality, which again, we will like get to that because that's in the questions. And that also, I was just thinking of me and Carolyn had conversation right before we started filming and we were talking about how some of the questions are a bit broad and I was saying it's like —
Carolyn Clapper (07:26)
Yeah.
you
Kim LaCapria (07:37)
— asking, you know, where do Kim and Carolyn live? We live in different states. So, you know, it's kind of like a lot of times questions assume, you know, like a relatedness to them that's not there. So, okay, so do you want me to start with the first one? Because that was like the one that was the big one. So the first question is, and a lot of people ask this, is what do they do all day in the afterlife?
Carolyn Clapper (07:48)
Mm-hmm. Let's get it. So "they" meaning "spirit and people who have crossed over."
Okay, so what do they do all day? So this is what you were just talking about. I wanted to kind of knock this out right away because there's no one answer.
Kim LaCapria (08:02)
Yes, spirits.
They watch us pee, right? They watch us pee all day.
Carolyn Clapper (08:15)
yeah. That's, that's their whole thing. Every one of them. That's their jam. It's like a fetish over it. No, I'm just kidding. So, no. So like, it's funny because like, people have asked me that just singularly, like, like, in a reading I've had not, not, not many times, but like, some people will ask, like, hey, what is he or what is she doing or whatever. And I may get some information back from that one person that they're talking to or the —
Kim LaCapria (08:18)
Sorry, yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (08:42)
— the people that they're talking to in spirit during that session or whatever. And it's a very like, specified to who they are. So I mean, that's kind of like asking, okay, how did this is the best way I can put it. That's like, somebody saying, what do humans do all day? It's just like, it's such a broad question that it's like, okay, well, they're not all doing the same thing. And I think like, that's something that is comforting for me, because, like when I, okay, well,
Kim LaCapria (09:02)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (09:12)
When I was growing up, I saw spirits, but I couldn't communicate with them. And they were like in my house growing up. So I've always kind of had an ability. I just wasn't able to like utilize it until my NDE. But that said, like when I was growing up, I was also raised in church. So I was baptized, I was raised in church and everything. And I was taught like, you go to heaven and then like everything's like really happy and peaceful and everybody's …
I always imagined it was like white fluffy clouds and like angels and everybody was happy and like peaceful. And you're just kind of like existing in this happy state. But I also was like, God, that's boring. Because I've always been a really adventurous person and like just curious. like I said, I was skeptical person as well. I was, you know, I mean, have this level of discernment and, you know, critical thinking. And I'm always —
Kim LaCapria (09:57)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (10:11)
— wanting to investigate and like dig into things deeper, like when I don't understand something. And that's part of the joy of life. Like that's part, I think like part of life, like the joy of life is learning, you know? And you're still learning over there and you're still having experiences, like you're still growing. And I think that's important for people to know here.
Kim LaCapria (10:23)
Yeah.
Yeah, it is —
Carolyn Clapper (10:35)
So I mean, everybody's experience over there is equally as unique to their experience here. It's how I see it. Again, I am no expert on anything, but that's what I've kind of gained from talking to probably thousands of people in this world and the next.
Kim LaCapria (10:52)
Yeah, and I think a lot of that question too exists in the other questions because they kind of go, you there's a lot of them that go into what goes on over there. And the one after that was another one that's frequently asked. I said to Carolyn, I think you probably get this a lot and it's, they okay? Like when somebody crosses over or whatever, I don't want to say any words that will upset YouTube when that happens. You know, are they necessarily okay? Or, you know, in general, like, because I think there's also a lot of
Carolyn Clapper (11:01)
Okay. Okay.
Are you thinking about like when people as well, when they like maybe take their own lives or something? Okay.
Kim LaCapria (11:24)
Well, that's one of... Yeah, well, both of those things, but just in general. And I think also that kind of is the question. And there's this belief, and maybe we can kind of like put these two together, that there are earthbound spirits that can't leave earth. And that's a really common thing. And if you're interacting with somebody, they're stuck here. So are they okay? And are there people who are just like trapped here? Is that a common thing that happens?
Carolyn Clapper (11:37)
Yeah, like, let's go, and I have theories on this. like I don't like I'm basing this on what I can see and what I've been shown and everything. So we're going to go off of that. Okay. Because I don't consider myself all knowing. So I have been in places that are haunted. Okay. They do exist. I've been able to see who's stuck. Yeah. Who's like trapped or stuck.
Kim LaCapria (12:01)
Yeah. Scary door, sorry.
Carolyn Clapper (12:22)
Like it does look that way. Like when you're in the space, feels that way and it can look that way and it can come across that way. But I'm not positive that they're actually stuck. I'm not sure if they're just wanting to be there. Does that make sense? Like they may just want to inhabit. Yeah, because they may just want to inhabit that space. Like I ran into somebody, a couple of people actually at like this big old mansion that I read for a relative friend of mine.
Kim LaCapria (12:34)
Yeah, like it's a choice. So that's what I was thinking.
Carolyn Clapper (12:50)
and then they found all like, so all these people came through in this particular location at this house that I would consider as haunted. and you know, the people that I was rooting for, they went over to the historical society and all this kind of stuff and they found the information. They were able to find the people that I spoke to and like actually like, I don't know, I guess like find the evidence, right? So they went and they found all the, yeah, thank you. Like validate all the information that came through —
Kim LaCapria (13:15)
I'd validate what you said, yes.
Carolyn Clapper (13:20)
— at that place, I also found like tunnels and stuff. It's a whole story. But anyways, we'll get into that like another time. And then the city went and investigated. It's crazy. But so yeah, there are some places that I feel have like old residents or you know what I mean? Like I guess what people would consider as haunted, or souls trapped. But again, the people in that house, well, I say people, the spirits in that house.
I felt like they wanted to be there. Like they're like, this is our house. like.
Kim LaCapria (13:51)
Yeah, and also, like when you're doing readings, like when you do a reading, for the most part, the people that you connect with over there, are they what you would say are like, okay? You know what I mean? Like, are they where they're supposed to, like for the most part, is that like the norm? Yeah, yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (14:05)
Well, I want to continue about like the "are they trapped" thing for a second because like at the mansion that I'm talking about, I'm just kind of like honing into that space right now. There's been several spaces like that, but this particular house, it seemed like there was a couple of people that were speaking to me that were, sorry, a couple of spirits that were speaking to me. And they knew that they were dead and they knew that they were like, they knew they were communicating with me and they knew —
Kim LaCapria (14:13)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (14:31)
— that we were in a different realm. It's like they're very aware and conscious of what's going on. So they were like, no, this is my house. You know what I mean? And I'm like, And then, well, and was theirs before. So it's kind of like it's more like the person that I was reading for is the intruder into their space and not the other way around. So that's kind of interesting. But then there was also spirits that went by me that it felt like they were just.
Kim LaCapria (14:35)
Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, because it's like that's where they want to be.
Carolyn Clapper (14:59)
I was viewing them, but they weren't seeing me. So that's a really interesting, I don't know what to make of that. Like, are they stuck there or am I seeing like past imprints of what happened? I don't know. So again, I don't know about a few things. I don't know how to interpret that. As far as our people are okay, it's like asking again, it's a very broad question. It's like, is everybody here okay? Like on the planet?
Kim LaCapria (15:01)
Yeah, it is. I mean, that's...
Carolyn Clapper (15:28)
Is everybody okay? And I'm not, I'm not teasing and I'm not, I don't think it's funny. I understand that feeling because before my NDE, after my parents died, like I lost them one year apart and I was not old enough. I didn't feel old enough to lose my parents. And so like, I was very lost and I was like, where are they? Where are they? It's like, I couldn't access them and I just wanted to know they were okay. So like I get that.
Kim LaCapria (15:30)
No, I know. Yeah, she was very young. Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (15:57)
I understand it. Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (15:59)
Do you remember — sorry, you won't remember, but — in our first reading so that was like a very emotional thing obviously and also I was contending with the fact that consciousness or I didn't know that you said you were like I wish I could show you you're like I wish I could show you because it's so close and you're like it's like one foot above us and then you compared it to Nintendo and you're like you know when you go to the second level and you can't go back to the first level yeah so it was like
Carolyn Clapper (16:10)
Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what I always say to people, right? So that's what I compare it to because that's how I see it in my head, but it's like is everybody okay? They come across as being okay because they're accessing me and they're communicating with me to communicate with you so they're going to come through in a session as informative and They look okay to me. So they don't come through like say they were —
Kim LaCapria (16:33)
— yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (16:47)
— say they had had trauma. Yes. Okay. So I just, don't want to like trigger anybody right now, but like, let me just say like, say they died in a really traumatic way that may have looked shocking to people here when they left. Say their body wasn't fully intact or it was badly damaged or something. And that left a really scary or sad and horrific imprint on their loved ones. They come through normal to me and they come through like Kim is right now. Like I am like —
Kim LaCapria (16:48)
— but they died in the violent way. Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (17:17)
I'm not saying we're normal, we're very far from normal, but like literally just normal looking, okay? Like excuse me, I've aged, okay? But I'm still normal. Anyway, so they come through normal. Sometimes they come through, like they'll come through how they looked when they passed, like the age that they passed or something. But then sometimes they kind of go back into, I know this sounds weird, like they're morphing or something, but I can see them younger too.
Kim LaCapria (17:20)
Normal for us.
Carolyn Clapper (17:46)
if it pertains to the reading. And I feel like they do want to be their healthy self. Now, I don't know if that's a choice for everybody. I don't know if everyone has the choice to come back at a certain age or if they have access to shifting ages over there. It's just, I can get more into that.
Kim LaCapria (18:03)
I have theory about this. Yeah, we don't have to go into it. I have a theory about it, but basically, well, I gotta say it really quickly. My theory is that when we're on earth, we have to age because we have to leave at some point. We can't be here forever. So, you you can like die of old age or, you know, you can die of something else before that. But I think that when we're over there, since we don't have to age, there's a point in everybody's life where you stop growing.
and then you plateau and then you start aging. And I think that's like the default age that we are. think aging just exists on this plane because we can't, otherwise there'd be thousand year olds walking around. You know what I mean? So that's kind of like my theory about the age thing.
Carolyn Clapper (18:33)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. I yeah, I mean, we have bodies and this is the meat world. mean, this is like, you meat goes bad after a while. It just goes bad. And so unfortunately, that's what we're dealing with here. Our packages just they die eventually. Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (18:45)
Yeah. Yeah. Well, that because the other me and Carolyn were talking to that just reminded me like a day or two ago. And this has happened like five or six times in the past few weeks where you've expressed like you're like, like I just I feel bad that he's not here. You can't like be with him physically. And then I start saying like, yeah, but but but and then we were kind of it's almost like reverse now where Carolyn feels a little bit like sad. And then I said to Carolyn, I feel like his body is a car he crashed, like —
Carolyn Clapper (19:02)
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Kim LaCapria (19:19)
He's not driving that car anymore, but that's not what I associate him with anymore. So you know, that's how I view it, but also.
Carolyn Clapper (19:19)
Right.
I just sometimes feel so bad because it's like I know that Kim has chosen to not repartner and that's none of my and I don't judge it. It's none of my business. It's my only my business because I care about her and love her and I also care about her partner and love him. And so we have a different type of relationship and she's not the only person that I've read for and that I've come to know and love.
Kim LaCapria (19:31)
Yeah, again, because like he and him too, you know. Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (19:51)
who has chosen to not repartner and that's okay and it's not something that I push on anybody. I want people to know that like that is not a concept that I push. Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (19:57)
Yeah. Yeah, this came up organically. We talked about this in episode one. When I, I sprang that on Carolyn in the middle of a reading and she was like, wait, what? Wait, hold on. And then one of the things that was like really stunning about that was she managed to process it in the moment, which was probably something she'd never heard before.
You know, it was a little bit strange. And you dealt with that question. You felt, you fielded it like, you know, and that was really cool.
Carolyn Clapper (20:21)
Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (20:21)
She didn't say like, he still loves you, like you shouldn't remarry, like you told me that, you know, that he would find somebody for me if that's what I wanted. And then I was like, I don't want that. And that's kind of where that came from. So.
Carolyn Clapper (20:32)
But here, it's also way more in depth than that. Like, okay, like, can I say his name? Or no? Okay, okay, so I call him Joe. But so, because he has two names for him. Like, I have two names for him, okay, that came through reading. So he has a nickname and then he's got his real name.
Kim LaCapria (20:38)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
And I always say "my husband" because I call him baby and he calls me baby. So like I used his name like five times. Like in his life... Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (20:56)
But he also has a nickname that everybody else calls him that he told me during one of our readings. And so what I wanted to tell you is that like with Joe, okay, he is, everybody is really unique. Joe is like, my God, is so fucking awesome. I love him. I love him and Kim together. Like I can't, I cannot like see them apart either.
Like I can't, when I think of Kim, I think of Kim and Joe. When I think of Joe, think of Joe and Kim. And so it's like, they're just, they're very couple-y couple. They're just like a very, I don't know, they're like one person kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and they're both so he was a linguistic person. So he's like, he's very, very vocal. And he, well, actually not. Like he's, okay, well, I don't want to give everything away because then if somebody else reads for you and they see this.
Kim LaCapria (21:28)
Which is also funny because we're so anti that like we were anti-marriage, we really, you're right. Like that was like our dirty secret. Yeah. Like really secretly.
She got into a fight with him. She got into a fight with him yesterday, which I thought was hilarious because constantly —
Carolyn Clapper (21:52)
He corrects me all the time and he corrects Kim all the time.
And I'll forget that he's in the room. Like I will legit, I'll be talking to Kim and all of a sudden it's like, yeah, and Joe is like a tall dude. He is like not somebody who can hide, but he's so sneaky. he, yeah. So he's like an archangel type presence in a way, right? Like he's just kind of massive. And especially because Kim's so small, like I'm a tall girl, but Kim is so tiny that it's like,
Kim LaCapria (22:00)
No, he hides. He's like door frame height. Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (22:23)
It's just like an unlikely match and it's so cute because like their size difference is so exceptional like in my head. So like I don't know how Joe blends into the background so well how he's capable of doing that but he does it all the time and then if I'm saying so he'll just pop in. So that's kind of our relationship now like when I'm not reading for Kim it's like like professionally reading for her and trying to get information for her or you know focusing on that.
Kim LaCapria (22:25)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (22:51)
He pops in at random constantly. So that'll probably happen on this show. Well, most of the time he's on the couch and he's like just chilling on the couch, right? And so like he and I have some things in common and he's very, he reminds me a lot of my friend who's passed over whose name Joel and they both have very similar nicknames and similar hobbies. so, I mean, there's just so much information that comes through. It's incredible. And so,
Kim LaCapria (22:53)
He just hangs out. It's like he's in the kitchen and then he walks in. Yeah, it will definitely happen. Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (23:20)
I was getting to a point with this. when, okay, so when they were talking about not like recoupling or whatever, like repairing, okay? Like I don't allow people to speak in my readings. they, mean, I mean, I'm not like.
Kim LaCapria (23:35)
She really doesn't. When people say that, but I need you to know, she really doesn't. She's like, stop, stop, stop, don't say anything. And it's hard because you want to be like, no, no, and she doesn't, she really doesn't. She means that when she says it. It's really true. She does not let you say stuff because it will mess up what she's getting. But sorry, go ahead.
Carolyn Clapper (23:57)
Because I don't want it to affect the information that's coming through. But I really do actually care about what people want to tell me because I'm invested in you. I'm invested in your story. And I, yeah, because I love people. And I like I love you. I have compassion for you. have empathy for you. And I do I don't want to be rude and be like, Shut up. But I also I think I if I went to a meeting, like it'd be really hard for me to like, take the away the information and then be like,
Kim LaCapria (24:05)
You say tell me at the end.
Carolyn Clapper (24:23)
Discern like what like if I was telling them stuff the whole time then I'd be like wait Did I lead them to this or did I I wouldn't want to question it afterwards? So like I just treat it is How I would treat it if I was sitting with somebody like me, okay.
But that said like Joe brought through all of this intimate stuff about you which we won't get into today because super intimate and it's like like people in spirit with me like they bring through incredible detail and that's why people sometimes are tongue-tied.
If if they're trying to tell somebody else about a reading with me It's like and this isn't me gloating about my readings because the the information that comes through the credit is it belongs to spirit Not me, but I'm just letting you know they bring through incredible evidence. They're like, okay, like this is the position they liked in bed like dude this is she loved it like this and like, you know,
Kim LaCapria (25:00)
Yeah. No, she's right, Pearl is- They really do.
Carolyn Clapper (25:19)
she was, she had an issue getting wet down, I mean, I know I'm being dirty right now, but it's like, they'll tell me, hey, she had an issue getting wet down there, we had to use this lube and it gave her an allergic reaction. So then we had to use this and this and this, but she started taking this and then this was better or whatever. oh, and they'll like, they'll get into all of these details, or they'll say like, oh, I used to kiss her up her thigh, and she loved it like right here by her birthmark or something. They'll get into things that are really saucy and sassy.
Kim LaCapria (25:24)
No, I know, but that's what the —
Yeah, and I want everybody to remember that. Like, when somebody says mediums are vague or the information that people say mediums give them are vague, I want you to remember exactly what Carolyn just said. Because I was saying, like I was thinking too, in my first reading, and we've talked about this, there's a perfect example of that, but I can't say it because it's too dirty for YouTube. Like, it wasn't, Carolyn got this trip that we went on and she said he left the hotel room, he went downstairs, he bought three things.
Carolyn Clapper (25:49)
if I left them.
Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (26:15)
She described them to me exactly, but she didn't know what they were and I did. I can't, again, if I say what they are, this video will get like blocked, a downrank there. They were just personal items. Yeah, no, I know.
Carolyn Clapper (26:19)
Yeah, gonna get blocked so many times. Why are we always censored? It's terrible.
And it's like, I'm trying so hard to be good right now. But it's like, can't we just like, I know, but it's boring. Like, I don't want to have to be good. Why is this so censored?
Kim LaCapria (26:30)
No, you're being really good. You haven't said anything. No, I know. Well, we can do live streams later that are less censored. that's something we're gonna... Yeah. We are definitely doing slumber parties. Yeah. Because everybody does want to know... Because the whole sex thing too is like... And I don't think that's a band word. But the thing with that is like, it is a thing that widows think about a lot and they don't want to ask. So, you we talk about that because it's a big part of any relationship.
Carolyn Clapper (26:39)
we'll do slumber parties, Kim. We'll do slumber parties where we can talk about all kinds of stuff and unpack it all. Yeah, that's what we'll do.
It's crazy though, because it's such a big part of a relationship. It's like, and everyone's intimacy is different. Everybody's intimacy is unique. And it's like, to have that be off the table when they cross over, that's insane to me. I think that would bother me as far as like partnership is concerned, like losing a lover. Now there's, I sit with a lot of people that aren't widowed.
Kim LaCapria (27:02)
It is. Yeah. Yes.
Carolyn Clapper (27:25)
or who haven't lost a partner. Like I sit with people who have lost children and obviously none of this stuff comes up. I sit with people from all walks of life and who have lost people in all walks of life. Yes, exactly. So, I mean, but we're kind of focused on that because this is like, Kim talks to lot of widows and widowers and things like that. Well, I guess I talk to the widowers. Anyway, what's your next question?
Kim LaCapria (27:25)
Yeah.
Again, for all different reasons.
Next question, sorry. Okay, so after that, and this is one we might want to skip. It was about the onboarding process, about when you get there. So like that, we can do that one now, or we could do that as like a longer thing later, which is just kind of like when you get there, what happens.
Carolyn Clapper (28:08)
Again, it's different for everybody. God, this is hard. I feel like people are gonna be like, nah, this sucks because it's like, well, sorry, but it is different. It's unique for everybody. And...
Kim LaCapria (28:10)
Yeah. And also, it might be some form of … that might be more answerable, which was the where do people go and stay.
Carolyn Clapper (28:24)
I can answer. can give you examples of all these. That's the thing is I think I can provide examples of what it's like that could give you an idea. But it's like everyone's passing is going to be a bit unique to them because they're going to see different people. They're going to have different experiences. Like that's like saying how is how is every family reunion that in the whole world? How does everybody what is everybody's family reunion?
Kim LaCapria (28:39)
I was injured. We could also talk about that.
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (28:54)
It's like,
Kim LaCapria (28:55)
diverse, was just thinking we could probably do that when we talk, because in a future episode, we're going to talk about Carolyn's NDE, because it's a huge topic of interest and it's a big part of her story. So maybe we could talk about that in the second half of that episode, because then we can get into it in depth. Does that make sense? Yeah, because then they kind of go together. Because also the question after that was the, and we talked about this one, and it's where do they go or stay? But I think that's more like, do they live in houses? You know what I mean?
Is there a pattern of life? like, yeah, where are they existing right now?
Carolyn Clapper (29:27)
in the next world. That's what I call it. No, I'm joking. But yeah, so.
Kim LaCapria (29:29)
No, okay, so I don't want to necessarily use him as an example, but like, if they have a house here, they live in a version of that house? Sometimes.
Carolyn Clapper (29:40)
So would I, so again, it's like, I have sat with a lot of different people and like, there's several people have asked me like, well, what are they up to? Like, what are they doing? And every single time it's something different. So it's like, it's kind of like it is here. It's like, yeah, I've had, you know, people who have been partnered up and like their partner over there is like, am, you know, I have land, I'm in, like they show me like they're in this.
Kim LaCapria (29:54)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (30:09)
space and they'll describe it to me right and then their partner who I'm talking with will be like my god that was our dream that was our dream like that I wanted to live in that type of house in that location and like now my partner is there and their partner is like yes I'm waiting for you and I've got our dream place and it's super super sweet yeah and so like that's just one example though and it's not everybody yeah
Kim LaCapria (30:17)
Cool.
That's awesome. That is sweet.
Yeah, no, but that's a perfect example because that answers the question. It's like, think when people ask that they want to know, or they just kind of like wandering around the street, you know what I mean? It's like, do they have somewhere to go and that kind they can have a place to go to if they want to.
Carolyn Clapper (30:47)
I've also had people come through like...
Okay, sorry, I sit with so many people. like, it's like hard for me to like hone in to like one. Okay, so like, wait. Thank you, so do you and I love your shirt. It's like my favorite. I'm stealing it when I come to New York. Yeah, I want it. And I'm just gonna steal yours because there's not gonna be another matching one. Okay, we can do trade these. But so my god, what was I gonna say? yeah. Right. So
Kim LaCapria (30:59)
No, I know. Also, you look so cute. You look so cute right now. I'm sorry. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, we have to get matching ones.
We'll put them in our merch store eventually. Yeah, we can all wear — So we're sorry, we're talking about, where they go and where they where they exist.
Carolyn Clapper (31:23)
And that automatically made me think of like Casey and Dana for some reason. So, okay, so Dana and Casey were clients of mine and Dana is passed over now. So I read for her and he for years, mostly her. it's interesting because like not, okay, this is like, I've read for them a trillion times, like just like literally so many times. And what's interesting,
Kim LaCapria (31:26)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (31:52)
Excuse me. What's interesting is that I saw Dana at this, I don't even know, it was like a retreat, you know? And she was, this is recent, semi recently. So I saw her at this retreat and she was like walking around, she's rounding the troops and she's going through different spaces and stuff in like different groups. And that girl, she was so skinny before she died. She couldn't eat anything because her poor body was just falling apart. She couldn't enjoy just the simple things in life like food, which.
most of us take for granted. And so the whole time she was like pulling candy out of her pockets and eating it and like talking. And she's like, yes. And she looks so healthy and she's so gorgeous and I love her so much. But she was like coming through and she's talking. She brings me into this bedroom. Like it was just one of the rooms at the place that they were staying at. And she's like talking to me and she's like got a sucker and she's doing all, you know what I mean? Like she's eating candy and I'm like, girl. And she's like, hey.
Kim LaCapria (32:24)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (32:51)
I didn't get to eat candy like for so long, so fuck that, like I'm eating candy all the time. And so, but she was coming through to tell me some important information to him and...
Kim LaCapria (32:57)
That's awesome.
So that's just where she was. So what you're saying too is like she was giving you a message for him, but she was showing you where she was. Yeah, finished.
Carolyn Clapper (33:08)
You gotta let me finish this though. And I hope that he's not mad at me for sharing this, like then, so then right afterwards I spoke with Casey and he was like, my God, he's like, what did it look like, the space? And so I described it to him and I think I may have even like sketched him something and shown him. And he was like, my God, yeah, that's totally the retreat I was at. And so she was with him at the retreat. Yes. Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (33:32)
I'm expecting that twist! Oh my god, you totally M. Night Shyamalaned me.
Carolyn Clapper (33:36)
Isn't that so cute? And those are like two of my favorite people. So like you and Joe are like really, I'm not trying to play favorites. I love everybody. like when you get to know, like I sometimes people stick in your life and it's not all the time, but when they do it's like that soft place.
Kim LaCapria (33:45)
No, it's not that. Yeah. Well, I also, can I say a side thing? there's like an important, because Carolyn, she really does care about them both a lot. when Dana died, that was, okay, so people think, I think that Carolyn is exempted from grieving because of her ability that she, and she was grieving a lot for a long time. And it was, it wasn't like strange in the sense that I was like, hey, you're not allowed to.
Carolyn Clapper (34:01)
Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (34:19)
It was the first time that she was, I could feel it immediately when you were grieving. You don't get spared that. So I just want to say that to anybody who thinks that if you could do it, Carolyn could do no, she has to, she suffers just like we do when people die. It's not, don't think that's negotiable. I think that's part of the experience.
Carolyn Clapper (34:37)
I feel like I'm lucky because I can see, like I know for certain that this doesn't end here. And I feel like just knowing that and like being able to access the next world, like people in it all the time on an everyday basis, like every second basis if I want to, it's like, yeah, like.
If I wasn't me and I was grieving, I would probably be envious or jealous of that. And I would be like, dude, I want that. Like I get that. I understand that because I'm sure that I would feel that a little bit that way as well. But it's like at the same time, it's like, like Kim said, it's like when then it's like when somebody that I love passes and it's I'm missing their physical self and I'm just missing their voice because I don't get audio.
Kim LaCapria (35:07)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (35:29)
Like I do miss their voice and I miss their just like our conversations, like our fluid conversations like you and I are having right now. You know what I mean? Not depending on, there's a huge difference. Yeah. And it's like, and I feel like the pain from others around them, what they're going through. And I feel like because I'm a medium and because they trust me and because they know all the information that comes through me is real and like, you know what I mean?
Kim LaCapria (35:36)
Yeah. There is a difference. You know, it's not there. There's a huge difference.
Carolyn Clapper (35:57)
It's like, I need to remain. I need to do my best to remain, like, grounded and I need to like, I guess, I have to like, I try my best to be here for other people rather than like being selfish and grieving.
Kim LaCapria (36:11)
No, this is like the back end.
We were talking about the back end of stuff, but the back end of mediumship that people, and I've been seeing this since the beginning. It just kind of sunk in in my first reading is that Carolyn has to process so much grief from external sources all of the time. And I never really considered that until I started seeing it up close. And it's like a huge part, because people think that medium, especially people who are skeptical about mediumship, they have a very skeptical view of it. But on her end, it's a lot of,
Carolyn Clapper (36:21)
Yeah.
Kim LaCapria (36:40)
You know, she's always talking to people when they're at their worst, like moments, you know, when they're suffering the most. Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (36:44)
Well, like with Dana, like I'll talk about Dana for a second just because we're on the subject, like with Dana specifically, like I felt like I didn't have the right to grieve for her in the same way as like everybody, because she started out being my client. And it's like, so people think, well, that's probably really unprofessional, but she became my friend because I, and it was like, I was really determined to save her life. I just, but, and I saw,
Kim LaCapria (36:59)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (37:13)
to such a depth in her body that I was correcting savant doctors that she was working with. Like they were making mistakes. These are literal savant doctors, her husband's doctor, and he had access to the best doctors. And I was catching psychically, like, because I'm a medical medium also, I was catching mistakes that very capable doctors were missing. And so,
I was determined, like, if anybody can save her, I can. Because she was such an important person, like, she was such a special and unique person. And I just had a lot of like sisterly love for her. And that grew over time. It's like you, the more you get to know somebody and the more you help them, the more you form a bond and you love them. And what was cool about Dana was that she knew, she called me her mentor later, which was like a huge
Kim LaCapria (37:44)
Yeah, it was really personal.
Carolyn Clapper (38:07)
compliment because she's a genius, a genius level in intellect and I admire her and I think that she's an incredible human being and an incredible spirit. And, you know, her husband too, I admire him. I just, I admire them as a couple. They're just two of my favorite people. And I could feel his pain and I couldn't take it away from him and I couldn't ease it for her.
Kim LaCapria (38:10)
Yeah.
Yeah
Carolyn Clapper (38:35)
It was just something I had to go through with them. And so like I was also her death doula. So like right after she passed, I was immediately reading for him. And so like you can't let your feelings like overshadow somebody who's that close to the person who passed you're not like you've got to allow them to kind of like unload on you because that's your responsibility as a man. And I know I'm speaking as third person. That's kind of weird, but like that's how I felt though.
Kim LaCapria (38:49)
Yeah, and people don't know this.
Carolyn Clapper (39:00)
So I kind of grieved,
right. So it's like, would go to bed and cry for like a while and I would grieve and I would talk to her by myself and I felt guilty. I was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Like, but you know, sometimes, I mean, we all die at some point. It's like, no matter how good we are at our job, it's like, doctors don't save the lives of every person because eventually our bodies retire. And it's just like an expire, you know? And it's like, but it's, it's hard, you know?
Kim LaCapria (39:05)
No, it is, I know. And it's like, I just think that people can so easily think that, you being a medium means that you don't feel these things, but I think it means you're feeling way more than people notice. And then it's also other people all of the time. So it's like, it's a really emotionally taxing job and the emotional labor of it is like invisible and it's hard.
Carolyn Clapper (39:42)
Yeah.
And there's also like parts of it, like, like if I open up my email and I see like hundreds of messages from people, like missing persons cases, for instance, like there's so many people in there that I know I will, like I've got to get through my email still. And it's like, I want to get back to everybody myself. I don't want to hire someone to get back to all of my emails. Cause I want it to be personal for me. Like, I feel like everybody deserves, like anybody who reaches out to me deserves me —
Kim LaCapria (40:11)
Yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (40:18)
back to them. But I know that that's going to get increasingly more challenging the more people know about me. And like, you know, because I made the news for Teresa Jones and everything in her case, and like, there's other things, there's projects that I'm working on now that may end up blowing things up a bit, you know, in my world. So I may have to have somebody helping me with emails eventually. I mean, even that it's like, I look at the numbers of emails that are coming in, and it's just like —
It's just heartbreaking because I know that I won't, there's no way that I'll ever be able to help every single one of them, but they all deserve it and they all, I want to. So that's like, that's the stuff that's really hard for me. Like that's the stuff, like that, yeah, that's hard.
Kim LaCapria (40:53)
Yeah, I'm out.
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's really hard.
And have you guys noticed she's getting emotional? It's not like, you know, this is something she cares about it super deeply. Cause that was just something in the comments of that other video that kept coming up where people kind of think that, know, you don't get, but you know, she gets emotionally attached to all of the people that she works with. I mean, you know, like not in the, yeah. So it is a lot, it's a lot of weight. Also, do you want me to ask the next question?
Sorry, me and Carolyn just took a short break. So we're coming back with the next question, which is, yeah.
Carolyn Clapper (41:36)
She had to break because I started crying and I'm a big baby, so sorry.
Kim LaCapria (41:40)
It's okay, because it was an emotional question. It really was. that's like, this is an emotional topic. And it's emotional for us all. It's emotional for people watching. It's emotional for me. It's emotional for you. But the next question was, and this one's kind of weird, is there structure there? Like, is there a government? Are there rules?
Carolyn Clapper (41:58)
God, I hope not. After everything we've been going through here for the past hour. shit. No, I'm just going to say that I hope there is not. There are, there are rules though. Yeah. Bernie. I love Bernie. He's the best. so I mean, there are.